I'm alive! I have come to retreat here and wave my white flag... My life randomly got all janked up and awful so this past week has been quite... grueling. Weirdly enough though, a few of my friends also experienced a very sudden and abrupt change in their life, which sorta creeped me out. I'm somewhat superstitious, so discovering that my friend went through the exact same situation as I did, on the same exact day, was scary. It is as if something is in the air... or perhaps it's just what happens in July. It does help a lot that I'm not alone in this shit week, and I've been spending a lot of time with my friends, which I missed doing greatly. I got to go back to the river near my town, one of my favorite places to go, and it was some of the most fun I have had in awhile. It feels good to just laugh about stupid things, or sit in freezing cold water and try not to get swept away with the current. I seriously wish I lived right next to a body of water, or hell, even a pool of my own. It would seriously heal me. I've even been spending time with new friends, introduced to me through my closer friends, and it's been really nice, even if a little scary at first. I feel like I've been getting much better at communicating with new people, which is probably the most important skill to build for myself after secluding in my dungeon for so long. It really helps to have more outgoing friends, and also remembering to not take everything so seriously. This too shall pass...
My friends and I are planning to run away and get a hotel near the beach given that our lives suck and we are trying our best to avoid sinking into a hole, which gives me something to look forward to. If I go, definitely expect photos in my photography section! I should update it anyhow, it's been a really long time. I have a bunch of bird photos and other various animals to share with the world. Speaking of birds, yes, I am seriously into birdwatching now. I even have binoculars for it (thanks to my dad), and I now know how to take pictures through it, allowing me to get much better pictures versus my camera. My camera is great, but I do not have access to a lens that can zoom into far distances, so it is quite hard to get better pictures of distant birds.
In more boring, less depressing news, I might have secured a job for myself soon (FINALLY). Fingers crossed, and all of that jazz. I seriously just want my own money, I will endure anything just so I can buy all the stupid junk I want, like more vinyls or supplies for my journals. Speaking of, I really have to write in my journal today. It's been awhile since I've experienced something so intense that I felt the need to write about my life on here. I know I always give the "I miss being on my website" spiel, but I guess as long as I know I'll come back to it one day, it's okay. Maybe it makes my entries cooler... I'm here one day and gone for the next 4 months... who knows when you all will see me again...
OHHH I also started watching Severance with my friends, and I am completely hooked. I finally understand all of the hype, and now I can finally stop feeling waves of FOMO when I see people talking about it. Helly R, I love you so much... I'm also almost finished watching Ginny and Georgia, and before everyone starts throwing tomatoes at me, pointing at me and laughing, I think I just really love bad, cheesy television. It's definitely not a 5 star show, but I was actually surprised by how fun it is to watch, and how close to home it can hit?? I think it just makes me miss watching really bad TV shows with my mom, this sorta thing would definitely be entertaining to her. I must fill the "Bad TV " shaped hole in my heart somehow...
Okay, I think I'm done updating here for now. I think I want to make another shrine for this website, I started one agessss ago, just never got around to finishing it. I also think I'm gonna go straight to my music log and update that, so if anyone is reading this, check that out :). Okay, see y'all again soon... or hopefully not soon. Well, hopefully my next entry is much more optimistic and my life isn't somehow even more shit LMAO.
2.8.25
It's a new year! Sorry for the lack of site updates, my life has felt pretty messy and harsh since the new year started. January was a pretty shit month for me, to be completely honest. February is uneventful, but I still have a lingering discomfort and irritability from how poorly January went, which sucks. I was truly hoping, begging really, for a better year, but sometimes things just happen. I hope to keep this site ongoing for the rest of the year, maybe even update the other pages I've neglected for awhile. I miss writing reviews!
Unfortunately, even writing this stupidly short entry feels impossible to me, my brain has been turned into sludge. I'm still in college, and amazingly I've been on track since my return last year. I hope I can keep the ball rolling, but it feels like I am constantly met with roadblocks in my life whenever I finally get comfortable. I genuinely don't know if I can keep writing this without thinking I sound lame, so I'll stop it here, but I hope the new year is at least going well for anyone reading this :) !! We will make it....