i have not updated the site in so long, and everytime i miss doing so. everytime i find myself on a major social media platform, i get excited remembering i could easily just go to my own website and talk about anything under the sun and not know if anyone's even read it or not, which is pretty comforting. i think there's something fun about the idea of blogging, and maybe sometimes i treat it more as my own personal diary, but it's still good to know that one day in the near or far future, i may be able to look back at this site and it's entries and remember all the adventures and thoughts i talked about on here. i think neocities and coding in general has motivated me to entertain the idea of pursuing some sort of education around technology. while i know html is quite literally the bare minimum of coding and website development now, it's helped me realize that with enough learning and practice, it's not impossible for me to learn it. i don't think i'd have ever believed i could learn anything around code or web designing, i took one class in highschool but it was all done with wix, so having this site is quite motivating for me.

on the topic of school, i actually think i'm ready to go back, preferably this summer. these past years i took off i realized that the least i could do right now is pursue some sort of education, to feel like i'm not just wasting away my time. i miss learning and writing essays, but i have an inkling that i'll regret ever saying those words when i'm in the middle of the semester up to my neck in assignments. the only anxiety i have about the whole thing, aside from actually going through with it, is the socializing aspect. before i come off as a total recluse, i'm only fearful that i'll have more of a negative experience when it come's to classmates than what i initially hoped for. during my first semester, though it was all online work, i rememeber how little anyone actually wanted to participate, and even if i tried to take initiative and lead a conversation, i'd be met with radio silence. nobody wanted to actually try, leaving me to speak up for everyone else most of the time, which was strange to me. i fully understand that not everyone is going to like me or whatever, but i absolutely despise a person who isn't willing to actually be cordial enough just for the sake of a project or an assignment. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm only scared of a hypothetical but entirely probable situation where i'm forced to interact with someone stuck-up and i'll have to just grin and bear it. such is the life of a college student!


first entry of the new year! i know it's a little late, but i haven't really had much to update the blog with to be honest. until now! i feel like i get the motivation to work on the website whenever i'm sick, because surprise, i'm sick again! i feel like my immune system has been taking hit after hit these last few months, i should really start taking better care of my health with vitamins and what have you. apparently a stomach bug is going around, and it's really not fun... it's only those 24 hour viruses but it's practically incapacitated me and totally wrecked my gut health, so it's a strict soup diet for the rest of the coming days, i presume.

but being sick isn't what i wanted to talk about mainly for this entry. i'm currently planning for a vacational trip soon, very exciting! i've mentioned it before but i really never have the chance to go out and take adventures like this because of both time and money, so i'm really looking forward to getting out before the summer eventually hits. the only downside is it's supposed to rain in my town the day i leave, i wish i wasn't going to miss it. i just really hope i'm not still weak in the stomach by the time i have to leave, is traveling really that fun if you can't enjoy all the delicacies outside of your area? it's why i'm a little apprehensive on leaving, i'm a bit worried i'll somehow jump the gun, eat something, and totally ruin not just mine but my families experience by being overridden with sickness. i tried eating normally yesterday, feeling i was well enough, only for it all to culminate into this horrible and visceral experience of nausea and stomach pain. definitely not fun, so i hope it goes away as soon as possible.

since it's the new year, my goal for this one is to get more creative work done! i've actually been doing exceptionally well with that one already, i've even been working on my own original characters! i think all my practice and dedication has led me to feel comfortable enough to explore character designing, rather than just fan art or redraws. my other goal was to get back on track with my fitness journey, though now that i'm sick oncemore, i'm practically already starting that one. i can barely eat anything, so i'm not sure whether to celebrate it or not... last goal, read more! i read around 11 books or so last year, which isn't crazy, but it's a great start for me. if you ever have any recommendations or ideas, please let me know. i think i should make an email dedicated to this site, though i don't think it'd be of that much use. seems like a good idea, though!